I'M AN IDIOT, TOO: The misery of shaving

Shaving sucks.

My facial hair grows fast, but not thick. And the coarse hairs go in every kind of direction, which means I have to shave top-to-bottom, bottom-to-top and side-to-side.

Blech.

I've tried all kinds of shaving creams/gels. The one thing that I've found that I like is the Nivea "goo" that is supposed to go in the Norelco Advantage electric razor. I have one of those, but it sits dormant. Instead I use the little packets to supplement regular Edge gel.

A few days ago I ran out of them. Since I'm too lazy to go to target or Wal-Mart, I found myself needing to shave this morning, but not knowing the best course of action. Then I got a thought: why not use my facial cleanser (don't ask; it might have been a gift, because I seriously don't remember buying it) as a shaving gel. I barely use the stuff, but when I do I always think that it's lubricating enough to make a decent shaving agent.

I could not have been any more wrong.

My face has so many red spots and knicks that I keep thinking someone is going to look at me and wonder if I've caught the Ebola virus. And it burns like a sonofabitch, even with the aftershave lotion that I use. Plus, I have all kinds of stubbly patches everywhere, which are really annoying me.

That marks the first and last time I ever use facial cleanser as a shaving gel. After work I'm going directly to Target and picking up a box of those Nivea packets. They're not that cheap either. When you factor in the cost of razors and those little packets, I spend more on keeping my face hair-free than I do on any other aspect of personal hygeine.

Shaving sucks.